Feel Better, Boo

A 'Fucked Up Moments in Fatherhood' Mini

Last week, I got my covid booster and flu shots at the same time, which reminded me of the time Emily and I went full Gift of the Magi on each other. Except, instead of a watch chain and hair clips, we traded in deception. 

You see, when the Covid vaccine first came around, our son was just a few years old. By that time, the three of us had been stuck at home together for months. Reading all about the potential negative side effects of Covid vaccines, Emily and I prepared for the worst. Considering we might be laid up for a day after our shots, we staggered our appointments one day after the other so that we didn't have two parents totally wiped out from side effects. Someone had to be upright at all times.

Emily would get her shot on a Tuesday, me the next day. If anything, one parent could pick up the other's slack around our then-two-and-a-half-year-old.

Which is exactly what happened. Tuesday came and Emily got stabbed. The following day, she felt so awful, she spent the entire day on the couch as I took care of both her and our son. That same day, I went and got my shot while the two of them napped, and by the time my side effects rendered me useless the next morning, Emily was on the mend, able to take care of both me and our son. Much like Emily the day before, I spent the whole morning, afternoon, and evening, watching shows, sleeping under a fuzzy couch blanket, and enjoying the Get Well Soon snacks being handed to me from the kitchen.

By the time Thursday rolled around, everything was back to normal. 

Except, dear reader, everything had been normal the entire time.

You see, about a year later, I admitted to Emily (or vise versa, neither of us can remember) the shot actually had no side effect; that I just faked it all along; that, after a few years of parenting our first kid, much of which was undertaken during the pandemic, I just needed a twenty-four-hour break, just one day on the couch under the fuzzy blanket being tended to. 

No sooner did I admit this to Emily (or she to me, neither of us can remember) did she cop to doing THE EXACT SAME THING THE DAY BEFORE.

Sometimes you just need a break. Even if it means lying directly to the person you otherwise never lie to and faking a little cough here and there while he or she hands you a bowl of homemade chicken soup.

Methinks O. Henry would’ve been proud.