Scenes from a Shitter Pt. 2

Another 'Fucked Up Moments in Fatherhood' Mini

This time, it’s me on the toilet.

For three or four or five minutes, it’s quiet; peaceful. I hear my wife and our kids in the next room. They’re getting ready for school, dressing in the clothes I laid out for them when everyone was still asleep. In a moment, I think, I’ll finish up, wash my hands, and head out to make them breakfast.

Then, with a thundering slam, the door is burst open.

My daughter, who is toilet-seat height, wedges her way between my thighs, using her elbows to push my knees apart, hoping to see what’s happening beneath me. Behind her, my son is armed with a toothbrush that he jams into my mouth without warning.

He read a book in school about plaque, he tells me, and he wants to check and see if I have any.

For three or four or five minutes, it was quiet. Peaceful.

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