Things that Go Bump in the Night

A 'Fucked Up Moments in Fatherhood' mini

Last night was a doozy.

We started as we always do; me in our son’s bed with him until he falls asleep, Emily holding baby in a chair in her room until she konks and Emily lays her in her crib.

Normally, I outlast my son and move to my own bed shortly after he falls asleep. But last night, exhausted, I passed out right beside him.

Somewhere around midnight, I woke up and joined Emily in our bed. The next time I woke up, which was god-knows-when in the night, our son was in our bed (he normally comes in at some point) but Emily was gone. I got up to go to the bathroom and checked in his room, where I found Emily, konked in his bed.

A few hours later, baby woke up and I went in to get her. After about twenty minutes of non-stop crying for mommy, I brought her into our son’s bed to lay with Emily. I returned to my own bed and slept more beside our son.

A few hours after that, I heard a thud in baby’s room. I went in to find Emily again in the chair, holding a baby that wouldn’t sleep. The thud was a water bottle Emily had knocked off a nearby bookshelf. Emily told me to go back to sleep, that she would holler if she needed me.

Shortly thereafter (or maybe hours thereafter, who knows?), Emily woke me up, asking to try putting baby down, as she was unsuccessful and exhausted. Emily took my spot in our bed. Eventually, I got baby down before finally returning to our bed, where Emily and our son slept. The sun came up moments later.

And so, marveling at the dance we all did over the course of one relatively normal night in the life of a parent, I woke up and diagramed it for your enjoyment.

Sleep well and godspeed.