Vol. 120 - It's Better to Give.

On teaching your kids one of the most valuable lessons there is.

For our final installment of the year, I don't really have an essay as much as an encouragement. As I'm keen to keep this newsletter anything but service-journalism, it's a bit out of the ordinary for me to approach writing in this space like this. However, last Christmas, Emily and I started doing something with our kids that I hope you might adopt into your own parenting routine.

On the other side of the woods at the edge of our neighborhood is a Ronald McDonald house. As we're just a few feet from the campus at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and its world-class hospital, the local Ronald McDonald house provides a place for families to stay, to eat, and to be surrounded by a supportive community while their children are in the hospital.

The Ronald McDonald house accepts donations of both money and food, they are often staffed by volunteers, and they also take new, unwrapped toys for the kids staying there.

Considering that last note, Emily and I took our kids to the local toy store at Christmastime last year and had them each chose one toy to bring to the kids staying at the Ronald McDonald house. Of course, with every toy he almost chose, our son reminded us how much he would love to have that toy. Specifically, there was one Mario Kart toy that our son stared longingly at for a good ten minutes, repeating with an exaggerated sigh how lucky those kids at the Ronald McDonald house were to be getting such a cool toy. And with each sigh, we reminded him of our mission; to bring a little bit of happiness to kids who had it a whole lot rougher than us. We also reminded him how lucky he was to not be spending Christmas in a Ronald McDonald house, to not be fighting a chronic illness or a terminal diagnosis.

In the end, both kids chose really cool toys (our daughter picked a Paw Patrol playset, our son the Mario Kart toy) and hand-delivered it to the Ronald McDonald house.

(What they didn’t know was that I ran back out to the store afterwards and bought them both their own Paw Patrol playset and Mario Kart toy. A few days later, we surprised our kids with the toys, telling them how proud we were of their selflessness. And then we reminded them that those toys were a one-time deal. That we would be making Ronald McDonald toy runs more frequently in the near future and that our kids would absolutely not be getting toys of their own every time. But that time—the first time—seemed apropos to reward them.)

Since that first donation, we’ve made the same run a few times. Once this summer at my urging and another at my son’s. The second time, as he and I were driving home, past the Ronald McDonald house, he wondered out loud if the kids there needed new toys. I told him they always did and we went straight to the toy store and picked out a few little items. Unlike the first time, he didn’t sigh, didn’t remind me how much he’d love to have this toy or that, didn’t comment on how lucky the kids in the Ronald McDonald house were. Instead, he went in, picked a toy, purchased it, and hand-delivered it shortly after.

Last week, we made our now-annual traditional Christmas run to the toy store. As we’re in the thick of gift-getting season, my son stared longingly into the toy he chose, no doubt thinking how great it would be if he could get one for himself. But never did he sigh, nor mention the idea of getting himself a toy. He knows the mission, he knows the deal, and he knows just how lucky he is to be safe at home on Christmas. At least, I think he does.

Then again, maybe he’s just hoping his selflessness will net him a surprise toy in the end. Even though he very much knows it won't.

And so, this Christmas, I encourage you to do the same and to do it in full view of your children. In fact, I encourage you to have them do it; to chose the toy and hand-deliver it to your local Ronald McDonald house. To allow them to experience the act of selflessness and giving. To remind them how lucky they are.

I never offer unsolicited advice when it comes to parenting. But with this move, I’m willing to make an exception, as there is only upside for everyone involved.

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In a few days, we’re shipping off to spend Christmas in London, which means the first newsletter of 2025 will probably be an essay on traveling internationally with young kids. Hopefully, it’ll be full of positivity, devoid of dread. Lucky for us, as Emily and I prioritize travel and adventure in our lives, our kids are already veterans when it comes to traveling. Here’s hoping our trip will be the smoothest one yet. Though, we do anticipate plenty of bumps along the holiday road.

So please drop me some London-with-kids can’t misses in the comments or via email and please have a wonderful, safe, and happy holiday with your babies.