Vol. 127 - All the Time in the World

And all day to use it.

We went for a two-mile hike in the woods behind our neighborhood. Then we went grocery shopping. Then we visited Emily’s father. Then we went out for breakfast. Then we went to the student store at UNC in search of a birthday present for a relative (unsuccessful). Then we went to the intramural fields and played for three hours. Then we went to the gym for my son’s basketball game (whose team I coach). Then he and Emily hiked a mile through the woods to a friend’s house for a playdate while our daughter and I went to the local golf course in search of a birthday present for a relative (successful). Then daughter and I dropped my father, who came to my son’s game, at his house. Then we took our car for a wash. Then we watched Finding Dory. Then we left to pick up Emily and son. Then we cooked dinner. Then we watched most of Up. Then we went to sleep.

This madness is hardly anomalous. This madness is what our weekend days typically look like.

And it often makes me wonder how on Earth we filled our days back in the pre-kid era. But, as pregnancies and births and those early days, months, and years of parenthood act like one of those brain eraser things from Men in Black, I find it hard, almost impossible to remember what it was like for me and Emily back then.

Still, I often find myself wondering WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO ALL DAY BEFORE WE HAD KIDS?!

Because, while we may all have the same twenty-four hours in each day, we certainly all use them in different ways. Especially once we have kids.

Most Monday mornings, Emily and I work out with a friend and local trainer who hosts a small group workout at her home (they’re also regular readers, so hi team!). Most of the others in our group are parents but one couple doesn’t have kids and every Monday morning, Emily and I listen with fascination as everyone recounts their weekends.

Our stories usually sound like some version of that first paragraph. From the minute our son walks off the bus on Friday afternoon until the minute he gets back on it on Monday morning, we’re gogogogogogo. Meanwhile, our friends’ childfree weekends remind us of some distant memory, some beforetime, when plans were loose, when long weekend trips were predicated on nothing more than a desire to go somewhere, where dinners were eaten long after the sun went down at whatever restaurant they fucking felt like eating.

Their weekends sound like exactly like the weekends enjoyed by the people we used to be.

To be clear, I don’t envy that era of my life. If I’m good at anything, it’s being present at a moment in time. That was then, this is now. Then was perfect. Now is perfect.

But I don’t sit and woefully listen to our friends’ tales of lazy Sunday mornings or impromptu trips to the nearest ski area. I’m happy that they had a great weekend because I also had a great weekend, even if it looked quite different.

But still I wonder, what the FUCK we did with all of that time.

Because, even though I know we did, I can’t quite remember a time when Emily and I had an entire day, let alone an entire weekend, with no plans written in stone, no activity to shuttle our kids to. In fact, if you took my kids for a weekend, I’m not sure I’d know what the fuck to do with myself. And by the time I figured it out, it’d probably be Sunday evening and you’d be dropping them back off.

I’m a hyperkinetic guy. Always have been. I’ve never done downtime well. In fact, early in our relationship, Emily likened me to a shark, remarking that I’d probably die if I ever stopped moving. And while she’s not quite as extreme, Emily is far more active than most people.

So maybe this level of perpetual motion and constant action is more a sign of us downloading our lives onto our kids than them driving the proverbial ship. These are the kinds of days Emily and I have always enjoyed. And, as our kids get a bit older, we’re adopting more freeform time into our lives (because, as any parent knows, freeform time is brutal when you have toddlers at home).

Still, we prefer to be moving, doing, going.

Still, whatever the reason, when I look at our average day, I can’t help but wonder…

WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO WITH ALL THAT TIME!?