Vol. 131 - Dude, Shut the F Up!

On being a little bit more subtle

My kids have been to London, Geneva, Rome and its surrounding hills, and the French Alps. They go to New York City a few times a year. Same with Philadelphia. We go to DC all the time to visit my wife’s sister. They’ve been to multiple beaches in multiple states.

They’re just seven and three but are already extremely well traveled because travel is something Emily and I prioritize in our lives. It’s something we sacrifice elsewhere for, that we might be able to afford to take trips like these. It also helps that Emily is an absolute NINJA with points, which allow us to do a lot more for a lot less.

For Emily and me, traveling is one of the most important things you can do. And it’s one of the biggest gifts we can give our children.

I don’t know what’s behind this desire for my wife but I certainly know why I feel the need to always keep moving. There’s an old adage that says you crave most what you didn’t get when you were a child. And, while Emily grew up in a well-traveled family, mine was quite the opposite. In fact, other than a single trip to Disney World and one drive up to New Hampshire, we never went anywhere.

I like to joke that I didn’t leave New Jersey until I went away to college (which, ahem, was only an hour west of my childhood home in Philly). Now, to be clear, my sister and I grew up at the beach, one of the best beaches on the Jersey Shore and thus, one of the best beaches on the East Coast. We grew up in the place where most people travel to. My family was also constantly visiting New York City (at least, my mother and I were. My dad has never been much a fan of big cities). So, while we never really went anywhere, we were surrounded by places people wanted to be.

All that said, my family didn’t travel. This is probably why I feel most at home in the back of a tour van, why I’m constantly craving movement and travel. Why I’m always looking for the next adventure.

It’s why we’ve brought our kids to plenty of far-flung places, long before they were both out of preschool.

However, this week’s newsletter isn’t about travel.

It’s about decorum. Because our son has approximately zero of it.

And why should he? After all, he’s seven.

Our son goes to a public school (one that we absolutely love and couldn’t be happier with) where many of his classmates come from far humbler backgrounds that he. Which is why Emily and I have had to coach him on how to SHUT THE FUCK UP when it comes to to how—and more importantly WHERE—we spend our free time.

Because, as we recently learned from his teacher, our son was none too shy about telling ALL of his classmates, ALL of his teachers and aides, his schoolbus driver, and just about anyone else who would listen about the two weeks he spent in London over Christmas (what he didn’t tell them, because he didn’t know, was that we had a free place to stay in London courtesy of dear friends who were traveling internationally themselves and the fact that Emily points-ninja’d all of our flights, relegating two of the biggest travel costs to approximately nil).

And so Emily and I have recently adopted a little mantra whenever we hear our son going on about London or Geneva, swimming in French Alpine lakes or his favorite place to get gelato in the hills above Rome. And that mantra goes something like this:

“Dude, shut the fuck up!”

(relax. it’s something we say to each other, under our breath. we’re not in the business of telling our kids to shut the fuck up. at least, not yet we aren’t.)

Because who wants to hear a seven-year-old turd describing experiences that many people will never have? Who wants to listen to a little globetrotting bastard lay out his absurd summer plans? What faster way to make his teachers say “man, fuck this spoiled shit?” than for them to hear about the Broadway show he saw over the weekend or what his favorite playground in Central London is?

And though we’re laying low on major travel this year, we’re not going to stop taking these kinds of trips because these kinds of trips are what Emily and I prioritize. Someday soon, we hope to check Iceland, Colombia, and the eastern cities in Canada off our list. Someday soon, we hope to return to see our dear friends in Rome, Paris, and London. Someday soon we’re going to teach our kids how to ski and snowboard in the Alps (because, funny enough, it’s actually cheaper than going to ski in the American West).

Hopefully by then, our son will have learned to shut the fuck up a bit better.