This conversation is so very hard to have with our kids and, at the same time, it's so very important for parents to have this conversation with our kids. From it, I think he will appreciate that you shared your loss with him. It well may be one of those moments when children begin to understand the unevenness of the life experience. I appreciate that you shared this story with us and I am sorry for the loss of your friend, who was way too young.
I lost my Dad in November 2022. The last time I saw him, I kissed him on the head and said goodbye. I’ve kissed other men on the head like that before they left in MEDEVAC helicopters. This was my Dad. My Dad didn’t know who I was by then and hadn’t for much of the last year of his life. But I knew. After he passed, my mom insisted I take all three of his trucks. I couldn’t let them go—there were too many memories of riding with him, his leathered, dirty bear paws gripping the wheel while he told me jokes and gave me advice. My Dad worked hard his entire life, and that was our language. Every time I went home, we would do hard manual labor; it was our bond. Well, until he got to an age where he would watch me work and advise on the best course of action. The trucks were the place where we spoke to each other the most. Last week, I sold one, a Ford F450 Dually. It was a giant diesel monster I did not need, taking up space in the driveway. I cried when it drove away. When my kids asked what was wrong, I told them I had to let another piece of my Dad go, and that one day they’d understand.
Ah man, I love this story. I have a similar bond to my mother's (much easier to store) glasses. She always wore big, loud glasses, and when she died, I took a bunch and hid them in little places all over my house. But I did lose a pair once and it absolutely broke my heart. Funny how those pieces of them stay with us. Really makes you question the idea that material possessions don't matter. They don't. Unless they do.
Been going through this with my kiddo too, she’s about to be 7 and we talk about death all the time. It’s one of the many things that my parents were either inadequately equipped to talk about or decided to avoid. So when death hit my family hard in my teens, nobody could handle it. Being honest with my kid and giving her room for her feelings, well, it’s hard as fuck, but it pays dividends in building trust.
Man, this one hit hard. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Your son sounds like a sweet little guy. You’re lucky to have each other. All we can do is enjoy the limited time we have together. All the best!
This conversation is so very hard to have with our kids and, at the same time, it's so very important for parents to have this conversation with our kids. From it, I think he will appreciate that you shared your loss with him. It well may be one of those moments when children begin to understand the unevenness of the life experience. I appreciate that you shared this story with us and I am sorry for the loss of your friend, who was way too young.
……….man……….these conversations. No one ever prepares us for this. You and Emily are fantastic.
Thanks, bud! And thanks for reading!!
That was hard to read.
I lost my Dad in November 2022. The last time I saw him, I kissed him on the head and said goodbye. I’ve kissed other men on the head like that before they left in MEDEVAC helicopters. This was my Dad. My Dad didn’t know who I was by then and hadn’t for much of the last year of his life. But I knew. After he passed, my mom insisted I take all three of his trucks. I couldn’t let them go—there were too many memories of riding with him, his leathered, dirty bear paws gripping the wheel while he told me jokes and gave me advice. My Dad worked hard his entire life, and that was our language. Every time I went home, we would do hard manual labor; it was our bond. Well, until he got to an age where he would watch me work and advise on the best course of action. The trucks were the place where we spoke to each other the most. Last week, I sold one, a Ford F450 Dually. It was a giant diesel monster I did not need, taking up space in the driveway. I cried when it drove away. When my kids asked what was wrong, I told them I had to let another piece of my Dad go, and that one day they’d understand.
Ah man, I love this story. I have a similar bond to my mother's (much easier to store) glasses. She always wore big, loud glasses, and when she died, I took a bunch and hid them in little places all over my house. But I did lose a pair once and it absolutely broke my heart. Funny how those pieces of them stay with us. Really makes you question the idea that material possessions don't matter. They don't. Unless they do.
Been going through this with my kiddo too, she’s about to be 7 and we talk about death all the time. It’s one of the many things that my parents were either inadequately equipped to talk about or decided to avoid. So when death hit my family hard in my teens, nobody could handle it. Being honest with my kid and giving her room for her feelings, well, it’s hard as fuck, but it pays dividends in building trust.
Man, this one hit hard. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Your son sounds like a sweet little guy. You’re lucky to have each other. All we can do is enjoy the limited time we have together. All the best!