Vol. 28 - Should I Stay or Should I Go?
On America
With Roe v. Wade on life support and new laws being presented in North Carolina that can lead to the banning of books and curricula based solely on a parent’s objection, Emily and I have had some very real discussions about returning to New York City.
It’s hardly an overreaction, especially given the history of our state’s often barely-democratic legislature, to presume that sometime in the not-too-distant future, North Carolina might pass some very draconian laws that we want no part in. And that very dystopian yet somehow very real potential future is frankly not a place where we want to raise our children.
Sure, we could stay and fight the power. We could VOTE! as they keep telling us, as if we haven’t been voting progressively since the late-90s. And yet here will are. Would it be different if we didn’t have kids? Sure. Would we be inclined to stick around and fight with whatever Constitutionally protected powers we might have? Absolutely. But we only have about a decade-and-a-half before our son goes out into the world on his own. And just under two decades before our daughter joins him.
That is, of course, unless they’re slaughtered in their schools sometime over the next fourteen or eighteen years.
Because now, in the wake of yet another school shooting that has left scores of innocent children—fucking children—dead, Emily and I having an even more drastic discussion about whether we should leave the country entirely.
Because I have no interest in living in a theocracy, no interest in raising our children in a nation where only one of them has the autonomy to make decisions about his body privately and without government interference.
Because I have no interest in living in a country that uses children as human meat shields to protect our ideals.
Because I want to raise my children in an environment where sending them to school isn’t a potential death sentence. And it’s sad that I may have to leave my home to realize that. Because I love America. And I love being an American. But love can’t always overcome exhaustion.
Are we packing our bags and hitting the road? No. Might we stay here to raise our kids as we've always planned? Absolutely. Do we recognize the extremely privileged place we’re coming from that we’re even able to have these talks? Of course.
But that we have to have these conversations, because week after week, we’re hit with something that makes us wonder how long is too long to stay, whether we’re doing our children a disservice by keeping them in what is inching increasingly closer to a failed experiment, is a fact that we as parents have to face.
Sorry. This week’s newsletter is a short one because I’m exhausted from a combination of worrying about my children and grieving for the parents who just lost theirs.
On a day when our hearts are hurting, this resonates on so, so many levels.
This is a very real conversation many families are having, mine included. We are actually considering Egypt. For all of the "stories" being put on the tv about these places, when actually visiting yourself, you'll find it's filled with more fabrication and fear. It's so sad that our safety net and our once called home is being slowly ripped out from under us now as parents, a reality I could have never imagined. Praying for everyone's success and safety in finding a place for our babies to grow and continue to be awesome! As awesome is the only way to be as a kiddo! :)