11 Comments
User's avatar
Marc Typo's avatar

I know this feeling now. The contract I signed has also locked me in forever. It’s the only contract I don’t mind though - it pays back its dividends.

Expand full comment
Ivan Abreu Luciano's avatar

I’ve been in the Air Force for thirteen years. All I’ve ever known is movement. I thought I was a “mover and shaker” when growing up in NYC, and then the military sent me everywhere. Ive been at a stable location for four years now, and I love this place. But now I can’t help but feel the same. Something g out there is calling us to move, and go.

With a second child on the way, I know we shouldn’t. The stability we need right now is crucial.

How have you been able to consistently retain a support system through all the places you’ve lived?

Expand full comment
Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

We didn't need a support system until we started having kids, which has always been down here. My sister and her family moved to town but she's got her hands full with three kids of her own, and my dad is here, but he's a Boomer Grandpa, so really can only expect him to do so much. Emily's dad is older and not able to look after the kids. Both of our moms are gone, sadly, and all of our extended family still lives in Northeast. So we do have a very small unit that we can rely on in extenuating circumstances but most of it falls to the two of us.

Expand full comment
Ivan Abreu Luciano's avatar

Sorry to hear about your loss!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective on this. I think this is part of parenting that our "boomer grandparents" and parents never tell us. How raising kids have tons of minor factors we don't consider until they are right in front of us. The same is true for us. Our inner circle and support system is very small

Expand full comment
Cory Checketts's avatar

Man, those are some powerful insights on contentment. I think we all feel that tug to keep moving--some more than others. Recently I’ve been fantasizing moving back to Mexico City. I lived there in my early 20s for a few years and loved it. But it’s not the same place it was not would my experience be any better now.

What bands were you in? I’d like to check them out.

Expand full comment
Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

Yep, I feel the same about NYC. It's not the place it was when we lived there, nor was it the place it was when I was a kid. Still, I can very easily see me and Emily getting old back up there!

Tons of bands over the years. But the one I toured most with was my band The Everymen. Jersey Shore rock and roll with some heavy-duty punk rock DNA. www.theeverymen.bandcamp.com

Expand full comment
Cory Checketts's avatar

Thanks for sharing the bandcamp link. I'm going to listen to your band today!

Expand full comment
Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

Enjoy! Start with the Mad Dogs record.

Expand full comment
Cory Checketts's avatar

Will do!

Expand full comment
David's avatar

There's a great line about a similar insight in Dean Wareham's memoir, "BLACK POSTCARDS: A Rock & Roll Romance":

https://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/06/books/review/Phair-t.html

'In fact, the long journey to inhabit the present is the book’s crowning sentiment. Comparing himself with his young son, Wareham tells his therapist about his struggle to be in the here and now:

“‘Jack has this incredible ability to enjoy the moment,’ I told Bernie. ‘He’s always smiling and laughing and having a good time, while I’m sad about the past and worried about the future. ...’

“‘You’re pissing on the present.’

“‘What?’

“‘If you have one foot in the past and one in the future, then you’re pissing on the present...’”'

Expand full comment
Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

I love that concept! (and imagery)

Expand full comment