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Fred "Doom" Dummar's avatar

Learning to lead with love is a profound challenge that confronted and reshaped the foundations of my upbringing as a man, a soldier, and now as a father. This approach likely challenges the societal norms that have also shaped your perspective.

I wholeheartedly embrace this challenge. I know that's why you're laying it out as well.

My goal has been to instill in my children the principles of leading expansive lives, urging them to embrace challenges and big goals while maintaining kindness toward themselves and others.

Nurturing and shaping compassionate individuals and fostering a sense of responsibility towards the community makes it a journey worth all the effort.

The weight of this responsibility is...well, it's like a big rock in your Ruck Sack.

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Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

Love that sentiment. And though I have no experience in the soldiering world, I too was raised by people who prided toughness above most other things (often because toughing it out is so much easier than reckoning with the problem, whatever it is).

Finding that balance of toughness and compassion is a place I hope to land.

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Sam Vicari's avatar

Michael - Thank you so much for your words, and I'm very sorry for your loss. You are obviously very kind and empathetic. Our daughter just turned 9 months. Our love for our kids makes it so overwhelming to think about what we want for them. Do you think it makes it more challenging when we had childhoods we don't want our kids to have? Ugh, I'm crying now as I type this.

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Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

Hey Sam. That's a great question! And it's honestly one I'd probably answer different each time you asked me. But on the whole, I would love it if my kids experienced a similar childhood to mine. Of course, I am and was super lucky to be raised in a home full of love, acceptance, and support. And I know not everyone has that. What's hardest for me (and has been since the moment my first was born) and only gets harder is that fact that I can't protect them from everything. Nor should I. Kids need to be allowed to experience discomfort and a bit of pain (within reason, of course). But it doesn't make it any easier to witness, even though we know it serves the end goal of creating kind, empathetic, and resilient human beings. Thanks for the note. Hope it's a good cry !

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Cory Checketts's avatar

I don't know you but based on what I've read over the last year, I have a strong feeling that your kids will turnout empathetic and kind to others. All the best, dude!

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Michael Venutolo-Mantovani's avatar

I hope so, man. Thanks for the note .

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